Namaste bag

I started another project after my last “Woe is the World-I just want to quit” entry. It’s the Knitty cabled yoga bag, Namaste.

I’ve actually been practicing yoga pretty regularly and figured knitting this project would be motivation for me to stick with it. I was right. I have been gettin’ my Vinyasa on like a champ and I love it. I really want to finish this project up so I can use my bag and buy a cute matching/coordinating mat. Right now the mat I’m using is like 4 years old and primary crayon blue.
Here you can see where I’ve knit half a skein of Manos- I realized that I wasn't going to make it with just two at this point....

(doesn’t it kinda remind ya of granny panties? lol)

I had the skeins of the Manos del Uruguay in my stash for a few years actually so I ordered two more (nope, it's true- I don’t care that the dye lots are COMPLETELY different) and have been kind of die hard knitting. I wanted to use the wool as oppose to the suggested cotton- I just like wool so I went for it even though I had cotton in my stash too. This is the project I took to West Palm Beach and Orlando. It got some knitting time on the flights going there but even though I was delayed about 800 MILLION hours on the way back I just didn’t feel like working on the bag. I kinda burnt myself out knitting it for it bit I think. This is where I am now.

I hope to finish it soon actually- now that I’ve got my hats to break up the monotony.

PS- If I’d known cables were so totally awesome and easy I would have done them a long time ago. Long live cables!

Now we return to our regularly scheduled...

Let’s start from the beginning of when I first fell off the Earth. (Speaking of Earth- anybody else been watching the Planet Earth series on Discovery besides me. I LOVE it. I think it is amazing. I only wish it were more in depth and that there was more)
Anyway, I think the last thing I was saying had to do with being dissatisfied with everything I was doing. Well obviously, I’ve moved on from that. I bought this book,
and promptly whipped up this hat about 1 ½ hours later.
I was so excited I didn’t even weave in the ends as you can see.
I’ve started another two but then went to West Palm Beach and Orlando for a wedding/graduation extravaganza so I haven’t picked them back up since.

More to come

Back from Florida. More to come soon.

Ever feel dissatisfied with everything you do?
I feel like I want to rip and/or restart every project I have on the needles right now. I'm not sure if I like anything that I am making. I need something to be finished or I need something to be started.

WIP #3

Dear Delta,

1. Who wrote these frickin’ instructions?
2. Will it even fit?
3. Do you have enough yarn?
4. Do I really like you?
5. Are you even worth it?

WIP #2

The first picture is what the sock use to look like. The second pic is what it looked like after I ripped back. The only thing I don't have a picture of is where I'm at with all this now. I have knit some more sock and am currently at the short row heel again with a lot less long of a foot. It looks better already. I just hope I can pull off this heel. This part freaks me out and I always lose track of what I'm doing. If I can just get thru the one I know I'll exhale and be fine for the next. I just want to knit lots of socks perfectly without trauma...is that too much to ask?

And the winner is?

I am way behind on the movie reviews. I have got a butt load of movies that I've seen and haven't posted up. This weeks is tough for me. There were a lot of good movies (in my opinion).

21. Haven- What a disturbing movie. So disturbing. This movie had me still thinking about it all almost a good week after. This is another adult content type movie. Severely. There were so many good things but truly I just found this one upsetting to me-on a personal level. I didn’t understand the character of Zoe Saldana. She really just threw me for a loop. I believe I had such a tough time because so much in the movie was the complete opposite of what I believe personally. Even though I feel I’m incredibly in tune with the role of fiction and usually have zero problem with extrication from movies and viewing them as entertainment or for artistic value or catalyst for conversation etc., this one in particular just seemed so authentic to me and it was disturbing. Matty watched this one with me and even he said “Wow, I can’t tell if that was good or not,” at the end. The depiction of human greed, the distortion of real love, the severe and almost normal practice of drug use and Zoe's character and all the character lines Crashing into each other (came out the same year) makes this a complex movie that just resulted in this viewer feeling heavy. It was a heavy movie

22. Derailed- A really good Jennifer Aniston movie! Ok this movie is adult content but I thought it was good. I was afraid that it was going to be scary (I don't do scary) but actually it was a thriller. The storyline was unexpected and it really had some good twists in it. Now, I’m sure that Matty would have said he knew what was going to happen from the beginning credits (he’s just that way) but I thought the movie unfolded beautifully and while I was trying to figure the pieces and how Clive would get his footing again it wasn’t annoyingly textbook predictable. I find that these days that I've seen so many movies that I get irritated when they all start to play out to be the same thing- didn't have that tinge here. Boy, I’ve already split my selections up a couple times but there are some close contenders this week.

23. Lucky Number Slevin – I’m telling you Bruce is still doing his thing as he gets up there in years (52). Though as a sidenote I'm not sure if the new Die Hard is going to be too over the top for me. What if Willy goes out like Harrison Ford who should have stopped years ago?
Anyway- There were many parts of this movie that was so unbelievably predictable but then there were things that came as a “surprise” just as well. It was great to watch the whole plot unfold because they did a lot of the story telling out of order. The characters were quirky and I’ll even use the word fun. I’ve decided that between seeing the Black Dahlia and a couple other Hartnett flicks that I like him. (Could it be the manjaw?) I liked the movie. I thought all the characters where well acted and I really liked the unveiling at the “resolution” of the story of how everything came to be. I was surprised at how much I was rooting for the love connection for Hartnett and Liu and I liked the depiction of their relationship because at first it doesn’t seem that serious but as time goes on you realize it’s something more.

24. Crank- Usually I’m all about the action and with a name like Crank I was expecting a lot of it. I was disappointed. Don’t get me wrong there was violence and high energy-lots of high energy but it was mainly shooting and chopping and seaming. I prefer my violence to come from a good aggressive butt kicking; I mean he (Jason Statham) kicked butt in the Transporter, so what happened? Did he get too caught up in making a “cool and trendy” vicely action flick instead of sticking to martial arts? While the film style had form of humor that was presented differently and somewhat entertainingly and more unconventional than what you see on some levels (which I could appreciate) I didn’t really dig the movie; I found it to be a little crass and even offensive at times. I tried to imagine how I would feel watching this movie in the theatre or in mixed company. I even had the thought, geez, I wouldn’t want to watch this with anyone who I cared what their opinion was of me…like a mother in law or a nephew or something. It’s definitely not a movie for little ones. There were humorous moments thrown in there with this crazy quick concept of a movie but there actually wasn’t enough for me to call the movie good. I’m glad I did not pay money to see this in a theatre. It’s one of those movies that in 6 -12 months you’ll look back and amuse yourself in regard to some of it's corniness. I thought the ending was the best part of the movie…seriously it was clever.

25. Ask the Dust- The box said “exceptional performances”. I don’t know about that but you see, there is something to like about this movie but I’m not quite sure what it is. The acting seemed good but not “exceptional” it was sometimes cheesy even, the storyline (I believe intentionally)got goofy at times and I felt like there was so much more they could have done with some of the characters. Still, the movie has something. Albeit, sex appeal. Salma jumps into a twilighted ocean naked as a jaybird with her disgustingly dang near perfect form ( I want that body..now) without an uncomfortable blink or twitch of shyness or embarrassment. Later they (Colin and Salma) have a love scene. I picked up the box to double check the rating again. “Is this porn?” I mumbled. Also, there is something drawing about the fixation and focus that both characters place on race and their own social status and economic status in this particular era. They are very open and confrontational with their bias’ (is that a word?) and struggles with prejudice to one another and their own self oppression is constantly looming and evident. I liked the movie though I’m fairly sure that most won’t. I found the ending in the desert quite moving.

Boy who will it be this week? The only reason I’d recommend Haven is so you all could be as confused as I was. The other movies were really good but where they better than each other? Though undoubtly “lighter” (which isn’t saying much considering you’ve got thriller/drama’s) where they better than Haven? Though disturbing there was just something about story and the presentation even. The gritty feeling of it all...something. I choose Haven but do rent Bruce and Salma and Jennifer. ;-)

Uhhh?WTC?

Went to my interview yesterday
Dressed professionally.
Got there 10 minutes early.
Politely approached front desk,"My name is Nina Bailey and I have an appt. for an interview with Fallon at 11:30."
Receptionist: "Oh, OK. You can have a seat."
I sit down in front of a glass windowed office where Fallon (complete with name tag) is looking directly at me. I smile. The receptionist goes over to her and they chat.
Receptionist returns: "OK, I'll be interviewing you today over here, I still need to cover the phones and front desk so excuse me," as she ushers me to the edge of some other random office. I hand her my resume.
"What time frame were you looking for? Is transportation an issue? What position are you looking for? OK, well she's done a lot of interviewing today and I'm not sure on how much hiring she plans to do. She'll give you a call."
Me? I'm still a little shocked that they've wasted my time to ask me questions that I filled out on the application the day before. I regained my mental composure, smile, thank her for the "interview". Fallon watches me as I exit. I give her a pleasant smile as well.
What. the. crap? Why do a call back specifically stating, "Would you like to come in for an interview with Fallon at around 11:30 tomorrow?" have me drive 20 minutes across town for a 3 minute interview with the receptionist while the original interviewer looks you dead in the face while doing nothing else important? Furthermore the receptionist informs you "She's had a lot of interviews today--uh, yeah I was under the impression that I was one of them." I have to admit that as I drove home I was pretty ticked.
I filled out another application to another place yesterday. I'm going to fill out more today. I'm still very irritated with the whole experience I've had here job hunting period. Literally every place that I've gone to has had some weird story or ridiculous level of incompetence/unprofessionalism involved. I am not being conceited- I promise you guys I'm not- but I know for a fact it's not me. 100% of the time I've been more professional and put together than any of the people I've been dealing with. Matty says that's the problem (of course he would say that).
I don't want to work an office job and I do not want to work retail.
More than anything I was really excited about this interview and I feel like I was wronged in some way today. I felt like something was fishy for some reason. I don't know what it was but I had the "What is really going on here?" feeling.
iontno

Epiphynil almost

One of the gyms called me back.
I'm going on an interview today. 11:30
I'm realizing how much I really want to do this and how much I might really enjoy it. I feel like I'm on the verge of finding my niche or something. We'll see.
I keep having these very revealing thoughts to myself...epiphanal almost. (Probably not a word but think "epiphany") Since I made the word up I think I'll spell it epiphynil because the "anal" makes me feel weird and also the previous spelling reminds me of elephant....leave me alone I'm having a really weird goofy day.
Anyway, I feel more and more like..."I would love for this to be my life; I could pursue this, I could really be all that I can be at this, I could really help other people change so much just by changing one thing. I could help change a life in a personal way."
I mean dude, just losing the weight that I have has changed me radically- mainly on the inside actually...more on that later
Something else I've realized over the years is that the look I'm working to achieve is a look I've loved since I was a little girl...I've always thought muscles and strong bodies were cool/beautiful...I mean the Hulk, Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, Sting, Conan...I was going to MARRY these men when I was little....I remember watching the bodybuilding men flexing on TV and thinking "Wow". When American Gladiator came out and there were actually strong AND pretty woman on the show I was really interested. She-Ra, Red Sonja, Xena, Wonder woman, all the girls in old kung-fu flicks that kicked butt, Tina Turner in MadMax, FloJo...my heroes. Anyway that was an important point for me for some reason. I guess it makes me feel like my goals are grounded in my authentic self or something and not on some other craziness just because someone else is doing it (trendiness or something). I guess realizing that helped me own it or something, iono. Anyway, the other thing that I actually wrote down in a journal one day was a statement that hit me like a ton of bricks: It's important to me to reach my goals because I want the outside to reflect what is going on inside of me. I want the outside to be a statement that is spoken without words; I'm just as strong and beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside. I know I have inner strength. I've always been confident that I will survive, life will go on, hard times will come, I'll make it through and be stronger. I don't know if I'm an optimist who's bouncing off the walls with positivity or anything but I am able to level headedly look at the glass as half full because of the inner strength God has given me. Inner strength and resilience. It is the one spiritual gift I know that I do have.

WIP #1

I’ve had this Lorna’s Laces Bullfrogs and butterflies yarn in my stash for forever.
I decided to start a clapotis. You know the scarf shawl thingie that practically every knitter on the planet in blogland has already knit…yeah, I started it when I went to VA.

The picture here is a little outdated. I’m still on the second section but I've dropped more stitches now.
I love the yarn I’m using. The colorway is called Tuscany. I had to order two more skeins because when I originally bought the yarn I only bought it with hopes no real plans. Now here it is two years later…..
So far I’ve noticed that you really gotta pull this yarn to get the stitches to “run” in the pattern.
Oh and apparently there is one other chick just as cool as I am who hasn’t knit this baby yet I love the colors she chose

Almost totally forgot, February=5

Here are February’s finished dishcloths for the knit along.

Notice I did two of the Mid-month pattern. I was pretty excited to knit it and really enjoyed myself. I was a psso – ing and k2tog tbl fool.
I made one in white which is perfect without flaw( I have a lifetime supply of white lion cotton yarn) and the other one is SnC cotton. It’s a color called seashore; it ain’t so perfect. Anyway, the color is being discontinued and it was one of the skeins I bought for a mere $0.75
The first pattern was cute and Valentine’s dayish. I used Rose colored SnC and it turned out really sweet. I have to say that when you block these cotton dishcloths it makes a world of difference.
I never brought y'all totally up to speed after I got home from my trip to VA. Did I mention that I've got a lot of projects going on? Well, here's a peek. I'll give you a break down in the days to come

I'M PISSED!!

NOTE: Jerry if you're reading divert thine eyes...although a message like this always tempts me to read anyway so read at your own risk...

I mean really could I feel any fatter today?!?!! And the freaking Midol is NOT working.
Ahhhhhh!!!

Going for a run, maybe it will make me feel better.

I haven't knit all week either. I need to try some knitting, maybe I need some knitting "zen" in my life...

I mean seriously I'm just angry for no good reason right now...I can feel the ball of anger in my chest...just hateful

Run just as fast as I can...

… to the middle of no where, to the middle of my frustrated fears…..

Four straight days of running, two more to go!
I had actually only planned on running 5 days a week but Matty talked me into going to run with him on Sunday after I got back. We’ve only been running two miles a day so its not that hard on my legs/knees/feet or anything. That being said today was an awful running day. My head just wasn’t in it. I kept stopping. I didn’t eat or drink enough. It was quite hot. What else could I possibly throw out there as an excuse? Not to mention that I've been harassing the gyms around here but NO ONE is responding. I was suppose to have a meeting with one girl today and she never came back from her lunch break for 3 hours. I was then suppose meet with the assistant manager but he stayed on the telephone for almost half an hour. The girl at the front desk asked me to come back for a third time later this evening.....think I'll apply at a couple of other places tomorrow, check the status of my other applications and if I get nothing come back to them. I guess this is the point where I need to think of something I'm grateful for because I've had quite the stupid day and can feel myself getting into the "I moved to Georgia blues."
...at least I still have a yoga session and weights to recover with and I sure am glad that a "bad day" for me these days consists of me getting out of bed after 8:00 under no dire time constraint, straightening up my lovely apartment, doing laundry that consists of an abundance of hot fashion and finally having a crummy run in sunshining weather with an array of lovely birds chirping my own personal rendition of zippity do da. What I really should have done today during my run was stop and smell the roses...lol... guess I really need to get a grip.
I've had MUCH worse days than this and other people definately have it worse than me. Ok, I'm getting over myself....

Moving on, I’m still getting the food thing in order a bit but it’s going good. So this is what I’ve done this week exercise wise and this is what I plan to do:

Monday- am -2 mile run
pm – circuit weight/cardio session

Tuesday- am – 2 mile run
pm – 20 minutes of yoga and abs

Wednesday - 2 mile run
pm – circuit weight/cardio session
noon-pilates

Thursday - 2 mile run
pm – yoga and abs

Friday- am – 2 mile run
pm- circuit weight/cardio session
pilates

Hopefully I'll get another crack at it all tomorrow

I see you windin’ and movin’ up on the floor…

Yeah, I’m winding it up but I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! j/k

My sockret pal doesn’t have a ball winder of her own so I figured I’d be nice and wind it up for her. It’s probably my own guilt since she came “this close” to me picking up some Lion Brand magic stripes and shooting it over to her- lol.
Again, j/k.
I did get the pleasure of letting the yarn run through my hands one more time while watching it’s beautiful colorway form this lovely center pull cake.
Love love love.
I’m thinking about throwing in my rosewood double points that I just bought. I really feel like it would disappoint Ms. Emerald otherwise. I mean I did kinda tell her it was her luxurious destiny. I mean a gal’s gotta live.
BTW, here’s are the ridiculous socks that I started to knit. I’ve ripped back the heel and about an 1-1/2 – 2 inches of the monstrosity of a sock. I think I’m just going to start on the Mary janes tonight. I could have them finished by tomorrow and mail her package by the end of the week. I’m down to the wire now….maybe I’ll still send her the finished socks once I get the hang of them because I am actually still intrigued with knitting them.

And another one...

Biggie, biggie, biggie, can’t you see? Sometimes your knits just hypnotise me and I just love your… Remember, I started Wendy’s dream-swatch pattern for a scarf? I wanted to give all my peeps a little something from me straight from the heart before I left VA. I didn’t even half way get started in time to finish anything so now I’ve resolved to a more decent time frame of before I leave for Italy. That could be a while…..
I started knitting the dreamswatch for those times when Delta was just ticking me off and I needed to take a breath and step away from the stupid instructions (because obviously it’s the instructions fault that I’ve had to rip it twice already).
Anyway, this is for one of the sisters of the Danica scarf recipient. The gal loves lavender and bamboo so what could be better than a scarf made out of bamboo in a lavender color?
Again, can you say “knitting pimp” I thought the pattern would be a lot tougher but it was super easy- it just takes a little patience. I’m very pleased with the results if I have to say it myself. I added more stitches to the pattern to make it a little wider. It’s actually been done for some time now and I already gave it away.
I really like the bamboo yarn. It is firm yet sometimes it feels a little “foamy” it’s super nice and the color…well you see it…LOVE. I think the recipient liked it so I’m happy. It’s one of those items you can do in the winter or wear as an accessory in the spring. Now, I’ll have to get another project to work on instead of Delta.
BTW, sorry the first pic is sideways, tilt your head a little and it should work out! lol
I'll post pictures of my horrendous sock and also give details on what I'm working on right now this week.
So far since I've been home I've run 4 really slow miles over two days and am on my way to Monday's weight session. Slowly but surely. More on that as well...later- what an action packed week.

Soon as i get home

1. I will be up in the gym just a workin' on my fitness.
2. I will get a part time job.
3. I will go grocery shopping for "clean" food and get back on the diet tip.
4. I will post some pictures of what i've been up to.
5. I will get back to blogging (I know you guys have missed me:-)

BTW, I started knitting a clapotis for myself while me and my sister get together what yarn we are going to knit one for my grandmother. I had some Bullfrogs and butterflies yarn in the color tuscany in my stash that was begging to become something more than a yarn cake.

Away message

I'm actually in VA this week visiting. It's been really nice. I'm enjoying myself. It was nice to see my friends and fam. I'm thinking about staying an extra week and maybe going to see my family in New Jersey....we'll see about it all.
Just wanted to drop in and say hey and I haven't fallen off...I'm just away.
I should be adding a review for 300 and for Babel eventually. I've seen both while being here.
In knitting news I finished and gifted the dreamswatch scarf. I've been working on my secret pal socks and they look aweful. You know it's bad when people who don't knit ask"Dang, what size foot does the person have that you're knitting that for?" I'm probably going to rip it all out and just knit up some maryjanes for the poor girl. I can do that fast and I they will look nice.

Tornado and movie update

I didn't list movies last week. Guess I was too busy gawking at all the damage the tornado did around here in Columbus. Thankfully we didn't have any damage personally but all around us looked like some bizarre scene from the Wizard of Oz with uprooted houses and blown off roofs. On the night of the storm we were coming back from dinner (we'd already spent most of the evening locked in the mall due to tornado warnings) and couldn't use our exit because the highway signs and trees were down. When we rode into town it was PITCH BLACK- no store shops lights, no street lights, no traffic lights. Bizarre. Anyway, back on track now...one movie post coming up!

16. Must Love Dogs- “One romantic comedy/drama starring John Cusack coming up! Is that made to order? No, it just comes like described here under typical romantic comedy”

A mixture of the romance and comedy genres, this genre normally features stories involving two people who meet and have an attraction, but normally come into some kind of problem disallowing them to be together. The films involve light-hearted, humorous plots that end up with the two characters together.
centuryofslang.com/reviews/genres.php

Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t not enjoy the movie and there were cute things to remember it by but on the other hand…it’s all been done before, it all ends the same way they have before etc etc. I can’t help to feel like I’m watching the same movie over and over again especially since John is in it--boy this whole review seems like DejaVu.

17. Cars – There were so many cute things about this animation. I picked this as my recommendation of the week because I was so pleasantly surprised. I loved this movie! It was funny. It was well done. It was family oriented but really clever content for adults too. It was a lot lighter than a lot of the other movies I’d been watching which really fried my brain. I laughed out loud and I liked the whole cars as people concept of the movie. It was just good wholesome fun to watch. You find yourself really rooting for Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson). The characters and their relationships were very well developed for an animation too. It’s a must see for young and old. I really enjoyed watching this one. Plus you got Larry the Cable Guy in there as the good 'ol boy truck Mater- pretty funny/cute stuff.

18. Firewall- All I could think the whole movie is just how old Harrison Ford looked. Someone tell the man he shouldn’t do anymore action thrillers. There were several parts in the movie that were just laughable- and this wasn’t no comedy folks! The whole storyline is just kinda missing something to make it click. I didn’t feel a connection to any of the characters I didn’t really have much empathy for the hostaged family or for the crooks. Nothing made me want to hold on and watch. Soon I resolved to just let the movie play in the background to my knitting because some of it was just down right annoying. Oh Harry, I’m so sorry. We’ll always have The Fugitive and Indiana Jones.

19. Black Dahlia- I loved the look of this movie. It was set in the 30/40’s and looks so old town Hollywood. It plays out like the old 40’s mystery movies do too from frame to frame. Something you don’t see much of these days which I thought was clever and added flavor to the movie. I The movie really did keep me on the edge of my seat –once it got going. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t slow but it was a little while before you got to really connect the dots of all the characters in the story and how maybe they would play into each other. I kept wondering “What’s his/her motivation?” throughout the movie for the different characters. You want to solve the mystery. Some of the scenes with the body and the murder are pretty morbid so be warned. The whole movie is adult content so be warned. Scarlett Johanson was in this one and as I said before I’m trying to gauge whether or not I’m excited about her acting or not. Classic Hollywood looks great on her though. Hartnett was strapping as well, I've seen quite a bit with him in it and I think I really like him. He's a sleeper; one of those you know of but underestimate you know?

20. Wild Hogs- Very cute middle aged man movie. Lol. j/k…kinda. I mean it was all very cute, slapstick type humor. I went to go see this in the movie theatre with my in-laws. It was the perfect type of movie for such an event. I will say that ending that play while the credits are rolling was in my opinion one of the funniest parts of the whole movie.

Temptation: a fact of life

My pal noted some yarn on her blog a while back so I decided to check it out. Boy does that girl have good taste! I check out Lisa Souza’s site and was so excited over all the great yarn and beautiful colorways she had to offer at not so bad prices (especially considering the yardage you get)

I ordered a special colorway just for her but when it got here, boy was it hard to do the right thing. The yarn is beautiful and I want it for me, myself. It needs to be mine; living here with me, basking in the beautiful wonderland I keep for all my sock yarns…
Would it be such a bad life to bask in the shade with other breathtakingly stunning yarns living an elite life, collected and relaxed until the day you were summoned to glide over brand new rosewood double pointed needles

and manipulated into a luxurious garment perfectly tailored for finely lotioned then delicately powdered manicured feet?

You see,I would do you right, I'd treat you so good if only you would just stay with me...PLEEEEZE don't go; say you'll stay with me forever---er, sorry-lost my mind for a minute
Look at this, you know…you go in intending to do something nice but then it backfires. Why o why o why o why o why o why?!

BTW, I placed the order at 5:15pm on Thursday evening and at 5:20 Lisa emailed me to let me know she processed the order and would have it out to me the next day. I got the yarn Saturday….homegirl was not messing around over there; she has my business that is FOR SURE

Still amazed...God has really kept me

Just a day ago I found out a guy I used to be involved with is in jail for murder. Yup, it's true. After the shock wore off I had an epiphany because my first reaction was to thank God for my Matty. I kinda realized it before but this confirmed it for me that God has really saved me from myself so many times. Here's a look at the last few guys I invited into and tried to hang onto in my life

1. ST- murdered before 20 yrs old; involvement in less than stellar activities and people
2. JA- ex drug addict & alcoholic (to date); 2 kids before 21
3. DT- jail drug dealer and probably a pedophile since he was dating me
4. SP- drug addict; dead of anurism (sp) before 21 yr old

No I'm not the black widow or anything..
Even my first real kiss, JM ended up being a crackhead, literally. Anyway, I think there are a zillion reasons why I chose these type of guys. I do know that there is a part of me that believes in the very best in people even if they or no one else really see's it. I feel connected in the soul to the good qualities or intentions of a person quite frequently. I am also the type of person who has a tough time even computing the evilness that some people/things really possess even though I've been the very witness to it. I'm the person who is constantly shocked and ever soul struck by the evening news (which is probably why I don't watch that often).
Anyway, all that aside I know that underneath my past choices have stemmed from 1) my self assessed self worth/value 2)family history.
My mother died of cancer before I turned 7 years old but not before she passed on her horrible legacy of choosing the wrong men which I'm sure was passed on to her by the women in her life....
Anyway, by the time I met God in high school I had already told him, myself and my grandparents that I wasn't getting married. That I would rather just live with whoever and kick them to the curb as necessary...because apparently it would inevitably be necessary.Didn't quite work that way, I ended up going thru some hard times and really clinging to God and in turn my life and who I was totally changed. I learned who I was by God's standards and started to believe in good things for myself and in my life. It wasn't something I accepted overnight. I still wrestle God to this very day but ultimately he won my heart and showed me just what he could do with it. He sent me Matty in my youth and we grew into adults together stumbling thru and mastering what it really meant to love one another...purely might I add. It never ceased and has not ceased to amaze up how incredibly blessed we are to have each other. For all you skeptics out there I'm just going to say it because it's true that they do exist...Mateo is my soulmate. And just to freak the rest of you all out some more let me say God one more time. God God God... he made me a new creation and has richly and deeply blessed my life ever since.

Stupid inner dialogues...

DELTA!!!!!
I’m afraid I might need to rip it. This sucks. I’m pretty sure I messed up the instructions for the decreases on several rows but I keep telling myself that as long as I have as many stitches on my needle as the pattern calls for and my gauge is still good there shouldn’t be any problems…..it is bothering me though. I should rip. Should I rip?
My edges aren’t looking so hot and I want this top to be nice. The little voice inside of me keeps nudging saying, “Better to rip it now in the beginning” or “ if you’re going to do it you’d better do it right.”
Frick

Last Sockret pal package is in the process ….

I'm using that antibacterial Tofutsie's SWTC sockyarn I got at Darlene's. It is very splitty but I'm managing.
As you can see I'm going from the toe up and I've decided the sock will be in garter rib stitch. This would be my first time doing any type of pattern in a sock. I'm really enjoying myself. I had to go up to a size two needle. There was lots of swatching. It's probably why the third and final swatch ended up being so small. I should have knit the swatch like I did for Delta.
Anyway, I'm on my way now and that's what's important.
My sockret pal will just have to look at these socks as a sentimental mark in my sock knitting career. One day I'll knit socks like Stephanie Pearl McPhee but today...today is not a sock harlot day. Today I rip and started the toe over approximately 5-7 times and even now I won't say I'm satisfied but guess what...this is what your getting sister! lol

Mo' movies, mo'movies, mo' movies

11. Brokeback Mountain- The movie was definitely complex and I think it did a really good job of showing the taboo of it all, especially in that time period and setting of the country. Heath Ledger was really impressive in his portrale... I have to tell ya, it was tough for me to watch this movie and I really only caught it in passing on HBO. On a personal level the attraction just seems so foreign to me and I can’t understand it. I could have empathy for the characters on screen but I could never really make the connection because I just don’t understand it. In real life I am one of those people who does a double take like, “What is going on over there?” if I walk past two males or two females holding hands. It’s always startling and a surprise to me so to try to get down with it in a movie was….tough. Anyway, my final conclusion is that above all else for me the movie was deeply thought provoking and I believe this was part of the purpose of the movie. While American culture is working hard at mainstreaming homosexuality a movie like this is a catalyst to get people seriously thinking and talking and truly facing/examining themselves and what they believe.

12. DreamGirls- Matty and I saw this in the theatre a couple of weeks ago. It was good. Matty even really liked it. He was fighting me on it originally especially when I told him that it was a broadway musical type thing. BTW, they did a great job of making it a movie and a musical. Everything about this movie was good. Good singing, good acting, good set design, good wardrobe. Jennifer Hudson was impressive in her acting especially for a first time appearance. She was really able to get her emotions to transfer over the film quite naturally. Her singing wasn’t bad neither! Though she did play a big role, it wasn’t the Beyonce’ show either. Eddie Murphy deserved his best supporting actor award. I thought he was simply amazing. Honestly, I was just glad to see his face on the silver screen again. I think that he can be over the top at times but the man is truly brilliant. It was a stellar cast honestly. They couldn’t have done a better job on that. The movie did an great job of depicting the industry’s relationship with blacks in that time period. Did I mention the set designs were really perfect? They also did a great job in developing each character and their storyline while incorporating the music. I think this is a must see for everyone/anyone and so it is my recommendation of the week.

13. My Super Ex-Girlfriend- A goofy movie. I like Uma Thurman and the Wilson brothers, that’s why I rented it in the first place. I wouldn’t waste my time a second time but it was amusing enough for me not to start wishing for an ending halfway through the movie. Luke Wilson, who I usually think is a clever little cutie pie with his whole manjaw going on, actually looked kinda chubby in this movie. It was weird.

14.The Covenant- This movie was cheesy. The very beginning scene I said to Matty “Huh, have you ever seen the Lost Boys?!” The beginning scene was so familiar to that movie for me. Actually the whole “bad boys” of darkness thing was amusing and I have to include that every frame of the movie tried to be gothic/gotham city esque. The college was all very stone and gates and gargoyle. The rich-bad boys houses all looked like huge haunted mansions. Most of the scenes took place in the evening or with a “misty fog” around. It all seemed so cliché’ and over overdone. The special effects and fights were a joke. It almost looks like they’re throwing water balloons at each other. Finally, I’ll end this by saying that it was all quite predictable too.

15. Mission Impossible III- There was a good amount of action. It was an entertaining movie to say the least. Didn’t Michelle Monaghan remind you of Katie Holmes just a little bit? The whole content of the movie that pertained to his love interest and their relationship felt like a subliminal statement to me actually. Anyway, if you’re looking for some action this would still be a very good choice. Storywise and actingwise I definitely think that Mission Impossible II with Thandie Newton was better. (Anyone seen the Truth about Charlie? Very clever movie with her in it)

Picked some cheap cotton

AC Moore was having a sale on some discontinued SnC cotton.
$.075!
I figured since I’m knitting along every month on the yahoo dishcloth group I might as well pick myself some $.75 cotton.
I think I’ve got more than enough now. This is my whole cotton stash now with the new additions.
23 skeins! It’s so tough to pass that stuff up when it’s on sale even if I’m not sure if I like the colors. Ususally when it knits up I end up liking it and even if I don’t somebody is bound to. Such perfect little gifts.
Here are my cloths from January














The first one ended up being a star/snowflake thingie. It was pretty exciting to see this one developing and realize what it was. I’m glad I knit it in white; it goes with the whole snowflake theme thing. You can see I got mixed up halfway thru and changed from right side to wrong side in the pattern. Did I rip it out? No, it’s a dishcloth! I’ll just have to knit another one the correct way ...one day. This one was kind of major crap anyway. I was testing out different ways to hold my needles, wrap the yarn, stitch quicker etc etc for the purl stitch. I finally figured a way that is most comfortable for me yet still makes good looking purls toward the end of the pattern. I had come to realize that purling was not my favorite thing so I wanted to make it easier on myself. Anyway…

The other pattern was a cabled dishcloth. I’ve never knit cables before so this too was pretty exciting. I felt like a knitting pimp; it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Imagine that. Nevertheless, I really disliked the design of the cloth. I don't want to use it (have it in my house) and I don't want to give it away. It was strictly a learning experience I guess. It's a shame too because I've seen cables I really like it's just that this particular design was not my favorite.
Now, wouldn’t you know during the famous dishcloth knit a long I only got 4 done. Needless to say I was eating the dust of some of the other dishcloth maniacs in the knit along. But now after the KAL is over I’m upping my dishcloth game! 
Still it was around the same time that I signed up for the Dishcloth a Month Club. It’s a group on yahoo (they have a blog too). The host sends out about 7 or 8 lines of a dish cloth pattern every few days. You end up knitting about 2 dishcloths a month. It sounds old lady but it’s actually pretty fun because you have no idea what you’re knitting and it’s always something different using a different technique. BTW, it’s free and the ladies are nice, welcoming, and super helpful. I’m convinced that knitting dishcloths will help you develop your knitting skills, besides they are great gifts.

Why am I not asleep?

I ordered this yarn from Knitpixie at like 11:00 at night the other day and it came a couple minutes later. They are not playing around about shipping over there folks. Anyway, it's 100% Bamboo yarn from SWTC. I think the ball band said something like 240 yds to a skein. Don't hold me to it, I'm shooting from the hip.
Nevertheless every since I saw the FREE pattern on Wendy's site many moons ago I've wanted to knit it...as a scarf for a friend I'm thinking. She knit it as a headband do-dad thingie.
When I saw this yarn (made out of bamboo) in this color it all came together so perfectly. I decided it can be the project I could work out when Delta is getting on my last nerve (apparently this scarf will be done in no time) I forgot to photograph it but I got this yarn in a variegated green colorway too.

YOU ARE AWESOME SOCKRET PAL

Today you get two post in one day. I went to the main office at my apartment complex this morning because the mailman left me a note saying i had a package.
My sockret pal spoiled. me. rotten.
Every single item was just absolutely perfect for me. EVERY ITEM. I felt so special when I opened it up. There were two cooking magazines because I love to cook. I will most likely be subscribing to both of those mags now. I've actually been meaning to subscribe to COOKS for some time now. My sockret pal just made it official. She also sent bath confetti which is perfect. Did I happen to mention that my new home has not one but two garden tubs and since I haven't been working yet I've been taking advantage of using them in a major way. I can't wait to use that stuff. It smells wonderful. She sent a lovely random acts of kindness fridge magnet. I thought that was just too cool. If it doesn't offend I was thinking I could explain to my next pal that she too has to do something wonderful for her own pal and send her the magnet if I send it to her. Who knows maybe it will get back to one of us if we keep the magnet going with our random act of kindness. Just a thought...you know what they say about karma. Wait, I hope I haven't lost you all because I'm not done...
My wonderful pal sent me a lovely post card in honor of black history month. I found this particularly touching. I have to say my heart melted and eyes dared to water up at the thought of another person appreciating and seeing the beauty in my heritage. It really touched my heart pal, you're freakin' awesome. Us knitters, we rock!
Ya'll know if I was about to cry receiving my post card when I saw my handknit socks I just went over. The colors are perfect, the pattern is amazing, the fit is incredible. It was wonderful to slip these handmade beauties on my feet and just think, "someone invested their time in these for me." They even came with a matching candle(which I love).I know I'm being all gushy but it's all true! You know what else my socks look like me and my style, check it out I gave them a tour. Thank you so much sockret pal you could never know how much it meant to receive your package. Awesome.

6. America’s Sweethearts- I think I’ve only seen John Cusack in one movie (Runaway Juror- ) that was not a romantic comedy. Maybe I should start keeping a list of the actors that seem to be so severely type casted-it's like watching groundhog day over and over again just with a different title. Ok, maybe I am being a little severe but there is truth in it. Anyway, it was a good enough movie. Nothing to write home about. It ended the way I expected. I felt like all the actors (Juilia Roberts, Catherine Zeta Jones, Billy Crystal) had done this type of movie so many times that even they were tired of it all. Wow, I hadn’t realized just how many good/decent movies JohnC had been in until I brought up his profile…DANG DUYU!
7. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- Man o Man. Johnny what have you done? I use to love the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and maybe this is where my problem begins. I found this version to be way too weird for my taste. It followed all of the original antidotes (which was actually disappointing) but it was almost let’s say….morbid. I guess that’s the Tim Burton special huh? Johnny why? I still love you…
8. Mr. and Mrs. Smith- This has been running and re-running non stop on cable. I actually saw it in the theatre the first time. I can’t help myself from liking this movie. As much as I want to be mad at Brad I have to admit that he and Angie have great chemistry together. It's not a comples movie but it sure is fun. It's definately an updated, cooler, sexier True Lies (in a way) at least that's what it reminded me of-just better.
9. Stomp the Yard- Matty really wanted to see this. I was against it. It was too “You got Served” – (Go home and stop akin lika ho’-sorry just had a flashback) looking to me. I went anyway. I loved this movie. First off let me say that unlike up north there were all genre of people in the movie theatre and it was packed (not even opening day) checking this movie out. I really liked that. We went to see it on MLK day and I felt very “I’m black and I’m proud” afterward. There were a couple of things I just LOVED aside from the great dancing.

1) The movie depicted black men in a positive light. The men in this movie weren’t only severely attractive but they were smart, educated, and going places.
2) It took time out to really help the viewer identify the pride and heritage that comes along with attending an all black college and belonging to a sorority/fraternity.

Definitely my recommendation for the week and it is a movie for everybody so try and get out of the house. I’d actually like to go and see it again…Matty and I got to the theatre late and had to sit in the first row…some things might have swished by too quick for me to catch!
10. Banditas- This was a BMS (Big Matty Special); it had Salma Hayek AND Penelope Cruz as western bank robbers! It was cute but not very good. Salma and Penelope looked like they were trying not to bust up laughing from having so much fun thru the whole movie. Salma does get to yell out “Long live Mexico!!” I know that must have felt special to her.

Delta

I decided to finally knit my top from Denim People. It’s called Delta. Could I be the only hepha who likes this pattern? I can’t find anyone who’s knit this...

Oh, actually no, I found this site and from there I found her and her. It’s seems to be pretty old but still, how exciting because I have some questions that maybe someone could help me with because it kinda seems like Rowan skimped out on the instructions.

O yeah, sidenote: Does anyone know how to stick buttons on the “new” blogger? Please tell me it’s easy.
I bought the yarn for this project probably a little over a year ago and now I seem to be a skein short of the amount I need. I know I had all of them before. Guess that’s what I get for moving. I’m going to wait to order another one just in case I need to order more than that missing one. I’m not even going to fret over the dye lot. It’s gone, it’s probably BEEN gone for a long time now.

Anyway, I finally got gauge so I’m casting on and am on my way now. Size 6 and size 3 needles. I knit my gauge swatch in three different sizes and obsessed over the right gauge and measuring and what not for longer than I care to let any of you know. I honestly think that subliminally it’s been all the knitting books that I’ve read.
Every single one I’ve ever read mention over and over again how important gauge is so whenever I knit something now I’m all pent up and stressed out and worried and pretty much just freaking out and obsessing over the freakin’ gauge. I used to not be this way. I need to go exhale.

That's probably what I get...

for trying to rip off Asylum. I made another gift for a friend that she will probably never see. I got the idea when I was in Annapolis, Maryland last summer. Matty and I were walking around the dock stores and went into wake*skate*snow (Asylum) (they have really cute surfer/skater/snowbunny) type stuff there.
I saw a really cute hat there and upon further inspection of the $19 dollar price I said to myself “I could make that!” I shamelessly drew a little picture of the details I figured I’d need (in the middle of the store)and went on about my business.


A zillion months later (now that I have the time) here it go!
That’s Lion Brand Jiffy yarn in an ecru color, knit on 10.5 sized clover bamboo needles (circs). It was just suppose to be your standard hat with a 2 x 2 rib, seed stitching, and a stockinette pocket...


I didn't even bother to make the pocket because the hat came out funny :-( Maybe the pocket will save it. Huh!

Darnyarnit! Crazy Colorful yarn store

I’ve been trying to get myself acclimated to living down here. Two Monday’s ago I went to my first knitting group meeting. There was a good amount of people there. I was the youngest person there (and I ain’t that young) but I still had a blast.
Knitting just gives you something in common with everyone no matter how old or young you are. I thought it was pretty cool actually. Besides, some of those old ladies are ‘bout it.
Last week we took a trip over to Darlene’s Knit Shop over in Opelika, Alabama. I know what you're thinking and yes, I live in Georgia. Alabama is literally 5 minutes down the street though. As a matter of fact I accidentally drove to Alabama just a couple weeks ago trying to get to Ft. Benning. I have to admit I was a little terrified and almost had a panic attack for a minute. My grandparents warned me about Alabama and Mississippi. And I know ya’ll have seen Mississippi Burning. I was exposed to that at a very young and tender age….Anyway, no worries, I got a hold of myself and exited Alabama safely..,Lol
I had a fantastic time at Darlene’s store. The ladies I went with were a crack up and just a blast to hang out with. Iactually probably like my old ladies more than the young wives group I've been attending weekly! Anyway, back on track, the store was full of color and excitement. Darlene had plenty of personality and she opened her shop specifically just for our group (15 of us and that was b/c there were only 15 slots and we were the swiftest 15!). She sat out hors d'uveres and everything. Darlene invented a technique that her and her daughter call con-cording; she gave us a demonstration of the technique. It was intriguing stuff. We definitely all felt like a VIP’s.

I got some sock yarn to knit my sockret pal’s socks and of course some for myself. I also got a little sumtin’ sumtin’ for my pal 9 who I severely neglected through the exchange and some size 1 double pointed needles for myself. I’ll definitely go back Darlene’s again. She carries a whole rack of stuff (a lot of novelty) but I’m mostly interested in her Cascade, Debbie Bliss, and Karabella stuff- not that I’ve used any of it before but I hear it's good and she sure does have a lot of those brands.
Anyway, the hospitality and service was awesome, the prices were “fair enough” and I had a blast. Oh and here's my sock yarn...SWTC Tofutsies, supposedly it has shellfish matter included that make the yarn naturally antibacterial. I'm guessing that's a clever thing for sock yarn.