Chile, I can't believe it!

I don't know what wild hair made me search the blogger sphere and look for my old blog but I did. I also don't know what possessed me to see if I could log into it... 

Presto! 

I'm here. 

Since my last entry in 2011 I've had several more moves including a second move back overseas and to Germany. We also moved to Kansas a second time, California once, and repeated Georgia as well. We currently reside in Kentucky but will be on our way to Washington state soon enough. This military life has been...exhilarating...exhausting. 

Since my last entry I've had two more children and my son who I announce on the blog is fourteen going on fifteen this year. 

Since my last entry I've attempted to write a romance novel-- several times. 

It's been a while since I've worked on any story but I can still vividly recall those first days I first decided to try and ended up with over 50 pages written. 

It was magical. I didn't know I could until I did. It was coherent and it was real. Now I have MANY unfinished manuscripts strewn about the home now. It's foolish to think that this year will be the year but I must admit...sometimes I be playing the fool.

Since my last entry my family became permanent homeschoolers during covid. It's been amazing- at least from my perspective. There is always the fear that the kids will grow up and one day reveal that it all sucked and they struggled and did it for me but would have preferred public school. Homeschool for me has been so exciting, freeing and fun. I did not expect to enjoy it when we were essentially forced into it.

My middle child actually wants to go back next year and while I've gone full advocate for homeschooling I will let her make that choice to return. This may be one of those things she needs to see for herself. She's in that tween stage and I want her to feel heard, understood, supported, and validated in choosing what's right for her. 

Not so secretly, I suspect public school won't be what she hoped it would be, learning style wise, and I can validate, support, hear, and understand her right to change her mind as well. As far as I'm concerned it's not such a high stakes decision to experiment with. Recovery in either direction is low cost. 

Since my last entry too many changes, twists, and turns have happen for me to list them nonchalantly in a reintroduction post. Over the years I have thought many times about blogging. I think I even produced a couple of entries on a "new" blog somewhere out in these cyber streets at some point. I just can't recall where or if I even published them! I had a knitting video podcast on YouTube that I started and quit within the same year many years ago. Funny enough, I enjoyed all of those things. Unfortunately, I can recognise in hindsight that I did not make time or seriously dedicate myself to them. 

Curiously, I think it stems from some fundamental attitudes I didn't realise I developed. I used the internet a certain way when I was younger. It was a spare time compartmentalised occasional conversation piece.   I wonder now if I had been more diligent could I have parlayed my hobbies and interests into something more that was lucrative and fulfilling. Hindsight is always 20/20, ultimately I think the answer is that I didn't have confidence/determination/motivation anyway. Maybe this new resurrection of the blog will lead me somewhere new or different than before if I can change my attitudes

There's always that pesky little problem of never quite being able to group my words in that impressive way that could evoke like I always dreamed. Lack of confidence.

In the early years, when I was blogging there were plenty of examples of hobbyist going professional. Now days I feel a little out or sorts and put off by the terrain out here. I'm not so sure that blogging happens just for blogging sake anymore. Everything seems to be steeped in monetised agenda. I'm not so sure that personal blogging isn't plain out of vogue.  My time away has limited my understanding to the new standards of a blog- solely to make money.

Isn't everyone using AI now anyway?! lol. 

Regardless of all the reasons I could talk myself out of things, I'm back on blogging. Old school. The purpose is for my own pleasure. The content will be a range. I'm just trying to write and get better. I live a full bodied life and my brain is always on. I be doing and experiencing all kinds of shit. 😂

On that note, I don't intend to censor myself though I also don't curse much anymore. 

Nevertheless, we've established, I'm a woman of a certain age- I'll say what I want and be free here.